Your EnterQuest Bulletin - Issue 187
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| Thought for the week: "Some folk want their luck buttered." Thomas Hardy |
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In this week's issue:
If
you have any questions about your business idea or target market, or need help tracking down a grant, subsidy or business support
in your local area, then send an e-mail with your query and location to the EnterQuest
information team and we'll do our best to help.
Send
your question to enterquest@cobwebinfo.com.
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How to start up a business that's guaranteed to fail
An article in the Sunday Times last weekend reported that one of the biggest factors holding back would-be start ups is fear of failure. Despite this, over half of new business start ups will go on to fail within three years.
So we thought we'd encourage a few more business failures by republishing a checklist from an issue of EnterQuest in 2004 to help you start up a new enterprise that will end up on the scrap heap sooner rather than later.
Here's the list of tips that will fast-track you to failure.
1) Pursue the first idea that comes into your head.
Imperative. Once you've thought up a business idea or concept, don't waste a second and get it started without further ado. Why not start up a business you know absolutely nothing about, or even better look for those 'here today - gone tomorrow' business fads and ensure your new venture is gone tomorrow as well.
2) Avoid market research at all costs.
Essential to guarantee failure. Listen, nobody knows the market better than you, and what's a market anyway? You've spotted the opportunity and you'll only get rich quick if you get on with it and sell it to everybody you can. You'll just end up getting bored looking for a market niche with genuine needs and demands that you could offer a service to.
3) Beat your competitors by selling at rock-bottom prices.
Running a competitive business is just too easy. It doesn't matter how many competitors you've got, just make sure your prices are much lower than everyone else's. And don't worry about all that costing your product rubbish. If you sell enough at ridiculously low prices you will be the customer champion in no time at all, which is the fast-track to profit making. Isn't it?
4) Run a business that doesn't need any marketing.
This is what it's all about. Your own brilliant ideas and keeping your friends impressed. Marketing's just a textbook term anyway, isn't it? Why start broadcasting the reasons why your service is so good or offers such an affordable solution to a particular group of people, when all that will happen is that you end up giving your competitors a chance to copy all your ideas? Why would anyone want to do that? Start up a business that will promote itself, and where none of your competitors will have a clue what you're up to.
5) Don't worry about the cash.
This is the best one. Everyone keeps telling you never to take your eye off your cash flow, but why bother with that when you've got the services of a good accountant and a sympathetic bank manager? They'll keep your finances straight, and let you know when there's no cash left. You just need to concentrate on being the overnight success you've always deserved to be.
6) Get advice from people who know nothing about running a business.
There are plenty of "experts" out there who'll gladly give you the benefit of advice that they've probably read about somewhere. Or even better, there are those serial business failures who'll give you even more tips like the ones we've given you here to make your new venture a thoroughly spectacular flop.
It's a sad fact that some of you reading this bulletin will already be practising these tried and tested methods to guarantee the failure of your business.
What's a trade description?
The Trade Descriptions Act 1968 aims to protect consumers from the misleading or false description of goods. It applies to all suppliers, manufacturers and retailers of goods, services, facilities and accommodation.
It's your responsibility to ensure that any goods, services, facilities or accommodation you provide are not falsely described. A trade description can cover issues such as:
- Size, quantity or gauge, including length, width, height, area, volume, capacity, weight and so on.
- Method of manufacture, processing, production or reconditioning - for example, stating that something is 'handmade'.
- Composition. This describes what the item is made from - for example, sterling silver.
- Fitness for purpose or performance. A good example would be where a car is described as being in 'immaculate condition'.
- Testing and results. For example, where a car's mileage has been independently checked.
- Approval by or conformity with a standard, such as stating that a product complies with British Standards.
- Date or place of manufacture, for example 'made in England'.
Trading Standards Central publishes a Business Guidance Leaflet on Trade Descriptions, and the Department of Trade and Industry (DTI) also has a Guidance Note about the 1968 Act.
The above list isn't exhaustive, so check out our practical factsheet for a more detailed explanation of how to comply with the Trade Descriptions Act. You can also see our introduction to consumer legislation for more about your other obligations under trading laws.
Iconic TV adverts
According to a survey, the Smash aliens - which first appeared on TV 32 years ago - have been voted the most iconic TV ad of all time. Second place went to the long-running Flake advert, which disappeared in 2004.
The poll, for the website BBCGoodFood.com, named the top 20 adverts - many of which date from the 1960s and 1970s. The top ten was as follows:
1) For mash get Smash.
2) Cadbury's Flake.
3) Hovis boy.
4) Beanz Meanz Heinz.
5) Bisto kids series.
6) Oxo family series.
7) Just one Cornetto.
8) Milk Tray man.
9) Ferrero Rocher.
10) Cadbury's Creme Eggs: "How do you eat yours?"
To read more about the top ten, check out the full article in The Scotsman.
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For hundreds more practical tips and techniques about choosing the right advertising medium for your business, as well as writing your marketing plan, finding new customers, increasing sales and growing your business, check out the UK Small Business Marketing Bible. |
Each
week we provide you with summaries of some popular or emerging business
ideas in the UK.
Here
is this week's idea:
Regularly improving your vocabulary is not just about learning a new word and its meaning. It will improve your general knowledge and make you feel and act smarter in all sorts of personal and business situations.
Do you know what the word 'conversely' means?
a) muttering or talking quietly
b) informally
c) opposite or contrary
d) in a roundabout way
Answer at the end of the Bulletin.
The following topical business issues have been reported in the media over the past seven days. Did your radar pick them up?
1) How much per head do UK citizens spend on eBay each year, according to new figures that put this country ahead of even the US for eBay trading?
a) £10
b) £20
c) £30
d) £50
2) Which of the following health and safety myths was proved to be untrue by the Trades Union Congress (TUC) in a report published last week?
a) Health and safety rules now ban the use of ladders
b) Small businesses are strangled by health and safety red tape
c) Firemen's poles have been banned on health and safety grounds
d) Circus trapeze artists now have to wear hard hats
Answer at the end of the Bulletin.
There are six new Microsoft patches
Microsoft has released six patches to cover software security vulnerabilities, as part of its latest monthly security bonanza. It is classing five of the patches as 'critical'. The critical updates are for the Internet Explorer browser and the sixth patch is for Microsoft Agent technology in Windows. The patches are designed to cover security vulnerabilities which could allow remote attackers to take over your computer without your knowledge.
You might be at risk of corporate fraud
Companies that use paper forms to send their details to Companies House are at risk of corporate identity theft, according to accountancy company Digita. It reckons up to 50 forms sent to Companies House each month are false. Fraudsters can change the registered address of your business, and then run up debts in your name - and you might not become aware of the problem until you file your annual returns. The scam can be avoided by using Companies House's online filing system, which informs you whenever a record is changed.
Clever business habits
The high street bank Alliance & Leicester has developed a new online tool for small businesses. The 'Clever Business Habits Guide' is packed with tips from genuine business owners about issues such as choosing the best bank account - Alliance & Leicester's research suggests enterprises could save up to £3,500 a year by changing their account, but are loath to do so because of the complexity and time it takes.
Off-the-wall business ideas
If you've ever worried that your business idea might be too niche or just plain wacky to prove a success, this article from Entrepreneur.com is worth checking out. It profiles ten completely off-the-wall business ideas that went on to make it big, including cleaning up murder scenes, selling mannequin body parts and training cats how to use the toilet. Each business is profiled in terms of what it does, how successful it is, how it got started and what people are saying about it.
Seth Godin is one of EnterQuest's most regularly recommended business gurus and authors due to his practical, no-nonsense style. This best-seller, about to be republished for 2007, covers how to convince potential customers to voluntarily accept your advertising rather than simply being bombarded (and irritated) by it. The focus is on only marketing to people who have expressed an interest in your product or service, and Godin takes you step-by-step through the practical issues involved. Check out:
Just one word answer
The answer is c).
Conversely means opposite or contrary, for example in direction, action, turned around and so on.
More consumers than ever are buying goods online, but conversely, people's trust in the security of e-commerce sites remains a problem. |
How's your business radar answers
1) The answer is d) - we spend £50 per head on eBay in the UK, according to new figures reported by the BBC.
2) The answer is that they're all untrue - the TUC's report in fact dispels the top ten widely believed health and safety myths. |
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Good luck
The EnterQuest Team
This information is meant as a starting point only. Whilst all reasonable efforts have been made, the publisher makes no warranties that the information is accurate and up-to-date and will not be responsible for any errors or omissions in the information nor any consequences of any errors or omissions. Professional advice should be sought where appropriate. |
